Who Is Andrew Scheer? Lesson #1

I was having a conversation with a good friend that I worked with in politics (names are hidden to protect the innocent) years ago, he is still fairly plugged in to the Ottawa bubble. He asked me an interesting question, “Who is Andrew Scheer?” I laughed at first thinking he was joking, until I realized he was serious. “How would you define Andrew Scheer if you weren’t as involved as you are in politics. If you were Joe Public?” It was a fascinating question that I hyberbolically jumped right into, before realizing…I think it is time to write the course syllabus for Andrew Scheer 101.

  • He has a mother. He said so in a commercial. Apparently, having a hard working mother is unique to conservatives. It is because he has a mother that he wants to be Prime Minister of Canada. He is just a regular guy with a mother.
  • Remember in the 1980’s when Bon Jovi was the master of the fake concert music video? Well, Andrew Scheer loves his fake campaign rally commercials. You have seen them, where the crowd looks like extras from an adult diaper commercial, and just as enthusiastic as participants in an adult diaper commercial. You know that your leader is vanilla when paid actors cannot fake enthusiasm for Andrew Scheer. Andrew Scheer is so boring that his RCMP security detail code name is Andrew Scheer. In fact, here is Lego Andrew Scheer, and Lego Conservative Party of Canada.
  • Doug Ford and Andrew Scheer have the same tailor. I mean, who wore it better? I call this picture “Right Eye For The Conservative Guy”
  • Andrew Scheer loves showing us that he is a man of the people. He is just your average father who loves making lunches with his kids. How can we not relate to Andrew Scheer, right? He is just like us – he lives in a 34 room mansion with eight bedrooms, five bathrooms, living room, sitting room, and dining room, and is served by a staff of three: a chef, chauffeur, and household administrator. Who can’t relate with a career politician who has earned 6 million dollars in salary and pension? I bet that a lot of Canadians have cost taxpayers at least $32,399,850.87 like Andrew Scheer has, since becoming an MP in 2004.
  • I cannot overstate how regular a guy Andrew Scheer is. I too, often walk through parks in Dad jeans talking to women.
  • Andrew Scheer loves being out in the public, and the public loves Andrew Scheer. Look at this guy.
  • Andrew Scheer loves bouncy castles. He loves renting bouncy castles and expensing them to the taxpayers of Canada.
  • Andrew Scheer loves showing us how blue collar he is.
  • All regular guys love hanging out in blue shirts. Wearing blue shirts is regular guy law. And Andrew Scheer is a law abidin’ regular guy.
  • Andrew Scheer makes spelling mistakes too, just like a regular guy. Andrew Scheer is a “beleiving in freedom of speech very fiercely” regular guy. Spelling is for elites.

So, for lesson #1, we learned that Andrew Scheer is a mother having, blue shirt wearing, blue collar, bouncy castle rentin’, man of the people, school lunch making, beleiving in free speech regular guy.

Just an ordinary average guy.

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